A Dream
It started with a dream to connect others and offer a support system to help others heal and have the tools to turn seemingly negative situations into something positive and build a support system of connection to help others know they are not alone. Awaken Retreats was born from that concept and will host its next retreat December 15, 2023.
It’s such an amazing feeling to see a dream realized. And it only happened because of the generosity in time, advice, and resources from my friends who have been so supportive from the beginning. Awaken Retreats would not have happened without my gracious friend who allowed me to host the retreat at her beach front home; Abby for trusting, without really knowing me, and agreeing to lead beach yoga; and Marie, for always believing in me and my dreams and helping me to see and understand how to make it happen and for leading the self-empowerment coaching and just being her motivating, insightful self.
And it is with excitement that I share the next retreat date for the east coast, Friday, December 15, 2023, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
We will have oceanfront yoga again led by Abby, self-empowerment coaching by Marie, and I will lead a guided meditation with a sound bath to end the day. The retreat will also include locally sourced fare and a cooking demonstration, tea and champagne, and personal one-on-one readings.
To register, go to the contact page on this website (link is on header and to the right) and submit your email and answer to the retreat prompt. I will then reach out by email to those who submit from this site with further details.
Can’t wait to share this with you in December!
Sending love,
Angie
The Holidays and Loneliness
December—Managing triggers and being alone during the holidays and starting your own new traditions
I’m here reaching out tonight, the first Saturday in December, because it is the night I feel most alone. And I don’t think I am the only one. Thanksgiving, I feel, we can get away with, when we are by ourselves, because of more recent trends since Covid like “Friendsgiving” that are more forgiving and accepting of singles. But. December. Whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, or nothing, this month we are inundated with messages from the external that reinforce we should not be alone at this time. And for those of us who are alone, well, I am going on my fourth year. And it does not get easier and the messages from family, invites, friends, unintentional suggestions of being coupled and invited that “other” to holiday events is intensified. So, how is one to deal with that? Well, to anyone else out there struggling with this and contemplating completely just shutting down and not going out to any events nor accepting any invitations, I offer this: I, too, have completely shut down since Thanksgiving. I thought, after all of these years, I would have a +1 to bring and RSVP with an actual name to all of these holiday invites. But here I am, writing this blog from my bed on a December Eve having not accepted the influx of invitations and giving a myriad of excuses (all true of course) for not being present this year.
You see, the truth is, I am a very truly social creature. I crave going out and being around people and making connections and chatting and meeting new people. But for some reasons, this year, I feel different. I have been hiding away in my bedroom with my two cats, feeling the heartbreak because I truly thought, after four years of being solo, I would have found that person by now who would commit to wanting to be that person on my arm, at my side, wanting to stay with me through the night, who I could include on an RSVP. The person who I could make breakfast for and tea or coffee who would be here with me the next morning. But, that has not happened and because of that and because of my own limiting beliefs, I have removed myself from the social scene this season. Now, some or many will say, If you remove yourself, then how will you meet that person who you want to be by your side for these holiday events? My answer is not jaded, but I would like to think enlightened by a year’s worth of weekends of misaligned connections and something one of those temporary connections voiced to me before leaving before dawn—”I’ve been training for this very moment.” Except, the problem, I realized, a little too late, was that this other had not been training for me in particular, but I had put everything into this connection that I had learned up until this moment for that individual to intuit and feel that that individual had been preparing for that moment. The reality, of course, was what you already know—I was only serving in that moment as a tool to push that individual beyond the former comfort zone and knowledge and understanding to effect growth and knowledge and realization. It was not knew to me but to that person. It was in that moment that I realized I was the healer of the broken hearts: I had spent the past four years helping others discover what they needed to heal to grow and move on and I served the role of the healer because by taking myself out of the emotional aspect and only placing a physical connection to it I could help heal another without having to delve into why I was hurting and focusing on others. And it worked for quite a while. Until last week. I met someone who challenged me who did not need any healing of heartbreak, hurt, brokenness, abaondment issues nor insecurity, and completely allowed me to be me. And it completely caught me off guard, I did not know how to handle it nor react. So naturally, I pushed it away. Perhaps the only pure form of love there is is that of selfless abainsond and care. Perhaps, I hope, in today recognizing why I push such things away tomorrow I may have another chance at LOVE. After all, I am a hopeless romantic and believe in the miracle of the season. On this date, nearly fourteen years ago, I was proposed to in a way that only happens in the movies and did believe at that time it was forever. Now, I have been by myself, having been left by this person who proposed in that dream-like scene, for about four years. And I would not change a single moment of my past. I am here today, reaching out to anyone who has given up hope to say, do not give up. Do not stop believing. We all have our moments that shape who we are and challenge how we react and decide to move forward. Today, decide that you will move forward on your dream. Today, during this holiday season, if you are feeling alone, find someone who needs more help than you do to put things in perspective. Perhaps that may mean volunteering at a homeless shelter or providing counsel to someone who has lost someone in their life who feels like the world has forgotten them. Have courage. Find one thing to be grateful for and focus on one thing you can do to push you closer in the direction toward where you want to be. You are not alone. As I write this from my bed, with my siamese cat by my side on a Saturday night (having given excuses to many for my whereabouts tonight and hiding from social events this weekend), if you feel like you need time away from the social scene, it is okay. But just do not isolate yourself for too long. We need you. We need to hear your insight, see your perspective, feel your gentle approach and thoughtfulness and see the beauty you see in the world despite the deep hurt you have been dealt. Please please do not disappear in December. The World needs you to be present. Know you are not alone and that you will feel better the more you connect.
Transitions
It’s in the transitions where we discover who we are and what we are willing to live with and without.
Who are you when everything else around you is taken away and the only thing left is you?
It’s in the transitions where we discover who we are and learn what we can live with and without. Many of the biggest moments in our lives center around change and mainly those that have come from something external or a situation we did not choose. The hardest part in change that we did not initiate is how to deal with the effects and continue to move forward with a new focus without what has been removed from the previous version of ourselves or life that we knew.
Sometimes this comes in the form of losing a loved one. Other times it is from the heartbreak of separating from another. It could be finding oneself no longer belonging in a career or job or environment, whether by choice or forced exit. Many times on this journey these transitions can either lead us to a dark place where we can stay stuck or offer an opportunity to begin again and discover who you really and what you want to be in your environment going forward. Learning how to cope with change and focus on creating a new perspective based on what you do have and want can be one of the greatest gifts this life gives us if we have courage and are open to the possibilities.
This photo was taken in Bali on the trek down a volcano after a sunrise hike. It was challenging, steep, rocky terrain with a group I was meeting for the first time (except for my best friend pictured here with me), and at 2 a.m. in the dark.
It was one of the best moments of my life and also one that terrified me as well. By the time we reached the top, after many stops and some who wanted to quit and turn around, reaching the summit right at sunrise and that moment of seeing that we all did it, encouraging one another not to quit and the beauty in that connection and experience in nature is something that would not have happened if I had not taken that risk and leap of faith. And when we got to the top, our guide had carried coffee and breakfast items and cooked them on a travel stove, to our surprise, and our shared experience was extended through the ultimate connector—food.
I’ve always found it such a compassionate and loving action to make someone breakfast—and I don’t mean just cooking the food and serving it—but to share it with another and the conversations that unfold that seem to come out and be okay to open only in those first few hours after waking.
Isn’t that how most of the best experiences are that shape us? When we set out to try something new in the unknown and push ourselves beyond our comfort zones amazing transitions happen within and often we meet fellow individuals going through that same experience as a result. It is in the learning of how to transition from the person you once were or thought you were into accepting who you are in that moment with the awareness that it is okay if who you are changes and evolves where true growth occurs.
Here, I hope to offer a safe space for us to connect through our shared experiences of loss, heartbreak, and transitions, and together share in how we move forward and become stronger, more aware, more loving, open, forgiving, kind, free, independent, and yet also connected.
Because your story is my story. We are all together in this journey at this time. Let’s come together to help one another and have fun, memorable experiences in the process.
One of the profound moments of this sunrise volcano hike was experiencing the vulnerability of the dark in the unknown, yet moving forward and transforming fear into clarity and renewal as the first rays of light began to stream through the ashen path. Until dawn, that time of waiting for the sun to dissipate the darkness and seeing glimpses of that with the hope that a new day brings. A new start. Another chance to begin again and see who we are and how we want to present ourselves in this space and connect and with whom.
My hope is that this empowers you to explore these transitions and how to work with them to get to where and who you want to be.
Sending love,
Angela Dawn